Brick by Brick.

So the music video is not going to be happening by STAC night yet I am oddly calm and okay with that. Maybe it is because I love the song to the point I feel me presenting won't do it any justice. Maybe it gives me more time to focus on the quality of other things (artwork, school, etc). I still want to do it, but I didn't want to rush it and make it come out bad just so I can get it in on time. Maybe over the summer if my group isn't doing anything we can get together and do that. As far as the starving artist wall I have enough art to put up so I am alright in that category but the wall itself is what needs work. Michelle's typography is so insane I am afraid to touch it. She has some freakishly straight lines! I hope we are able to get to painting us on the wall but getting the words out must come first. Ever since I saw the people from STAC on the wall from the years before my time here, I wanted to do that too. Maybe another time!

I really love working with the ink although it is something new to me I feel comfortable doing it. Glad I can use something other than a bad ball point pen or a sharpie to outline my artwork now. For the wall Michelle and I am doing I really like the idea I am just scattering around for all the art to put up to fill the wall. I am becoming fearful for the "Goodnight Socialite" video but thankfully we start filming tomorrow after school. Oh man I am booked! So much stuff to do so little time I won't lie and say I'm not freaking out. Quite afraid actually because I would hate to disappoint. At this point I could not live with the idea of being a failure on my mind so hopefully that won't come up. With all the studying, essay writing, last minute grades to put in, many drawings to get done, Captain Canada, and shoot the music video I am getting a bit worn out physically and mentally. I don't even know how I can pull it all of quite yet. This is why I hate time. I feel like it is never on my side. Time scares me. Not in the 'Oh no my clock's number's just change I will die' but it gets me really anxious. Even when I was little I would have such problems sleeping because I was afraid of how many hours of sleep I will get, that if I didn't sleep at a certain time I won't wake up. (And look at me now barely getting any sleep at all!) Thinking back on it now I was silly because getting anxious about that just kept me awake even later.  But that was a little before I was diagnosed. ANYWAYS. I'm not trying to say that I don't like everything I am doing I just am afraid of the outcome of having a lot to do. I think that is a logical fear, yes? It is the end of the year I'm just really worn out and ready to get this over with.

Captain Canada

First day working on Captain Canada. We read through the script today and I started working on a song I am singing with Danny. Very funny, I like what I see so far, can't wait for the final product. Tomorrow I want to work on inking. Maybe not inking the comic right away but inking something. I want to get used to working with ink because I don't want to get the ink all over the comic and ruin it!! I REALLY have to film the 'Goodnight Socialite' music video. I am hoping we can get at least half of the filming done Thursday. As per usual time (or lack of time) is giving quite a bit of anxiety. I don't want this to be rushed to the point where it comes out bad. Although we have not worked on it in a couple weeks I still care about it.

Today I started the comic I was planning to start yesterday. The book Luke gave me helped a lot with anatomy when it comes to different poses. That book has many good poses to work with. You can only stand straight for so long! I only got about two pages done, so I want to somehow work quicker but have consistent quality. I don't think I will finish this comic by the end of the quarter but I will get somewhere with it. Since I find drawing backgrounds boring, I can't say I am incredibly great at them. Sure it gets the point across, but I wouldn't call it very good. Already this is giving me more practice with that than I thought I would even do! I am practicing things I wasn't even planning on practicing. Tomorrow I think my group will finally start filming our main project, but I if I have free time I will work more on the comic tomorrow. Not sure if I will get to it though, tomorrow is the day before my first AP test. Yikes.

I love the Stephen Colbert AND Maurice Sendak! That interview is so wonderful, Mr. Sendak will be greatly missed. Growing up reading his books and watching Little Bear (He illustrated the books and drew for the show as well) it wasn't until I saw that interview in January with Colbert I found out of clever and hilarious he is. Colbert is wonderful as well. Last New York Comic Con I went to I bought a little cartoon version of Colbert and it is on my wall as I am typing this. The artist Kevin Bolk drew it (Great fan artist! Check him out, very funny!).

Today as far as working goes, I decided to start a comic for the girl with bull on her head ( I should probably give her a proper name soon.) If you haven't read my past post she looks kinda like this:

I was trying to work on her anatomy today but the books I was using was only muscular males so that wasn't working out too well.

Heaven Help Us

I forgot to blog yesterday but yesterday I was working on anatomy by working on this commission. Trying to finish it up soon. I hope she will like it. Maybe I'll post it when I'm done.

Today was more of brainstorming of what my side salad should be. I think I will stick to the comic book idea but I'm still coming up with ideas. So I sketched some out. 

The boy and the girl- A comic about two friends that decide to join some 'rebellion' (but they both kinda suck at shooting ray guns and stuff)

The girl with the bull skull on her head- Talented with a gun the girl gets kicked out of the town she lived when she was younger because she was accused of a murder in the town. Few years later she returns to the town to defend it against evil forces.

Cartoon dead girl- that is some doodle I draw a lot on the side of my papers at school. Kinda like the guy with the pigeon that we heard in class. She doesn't have much of a story she just kinda stands there and says something morbid or sadistic. She is also scarily happy that she is dead.

Thor- John told me to draw Thor. So I did.

Blindfolded girl- A couple years ago I made a comic based on the zodiac because I find that very interesting ( I still find it very interesting. I guess that isn't cool though because of all the enneagram stuff) The girl I drew is the Libra, my sign. She is blindfolded because the scales are a symbol in justice, and justice is blind so.... I was thinking of redesign all the characters I made in the past and come up with a whole new story or something.

Girl at bottom- I don't have any story for her. I was thinking of maybe drawing serious things with funny captions or something. Like a person looking very serious but saying "I fucking hate peas."

Just some ideas. Still in the decision process. Need to figure this out soon.

Destruction is a from of creation.

Today I worked on anatomy again. I want to learn anatomy, so  I can improve my drawing. But to make this art, to put what I am learning and using it, that is what I haven't come up with yet. One idea coulde be incorporating comics into this somehow but I am still working this out. For my main project I am getting a little worried, not because we don't have ideas set and stuff, but we haven't started filming anything yet. I am afraid of time. We still have to decide were we are filming this, I don't know if it will be at my house or Danny's or where in my house or Danny's. Hopefully we can resolve this issue soon and get filming! First we half to film the 'flashback' scenes. To make this work I think we have to make sure that those scenes work before we go to the present. Because as a corpse I might have to get a bit of fake blood on me and possibly what I am wearing, we are doing those after, so I can maintain clean attire when I need it.

Over the weekend I made Caitlin watch Donnie Darko (that is my favorite movie), and we got an idea for a shot, so I guess that counts as some research. We might try to steal the shot where Donnie is outside talking to Frank for the first time and has a somewhat dark look on his face and then smirks a little. If not we might steal something from this movie.

I just want to impress you!

So after hearing the parent relationship relating to the enneagram from Jei, I looked mine up out of curiosity.
I am a type 3 (wing 4) and for 3s it basically said the child will try to get great achievements in order to impress and, feel worthy to their parents. OH BOY I can relate to that. Although my parents aren't the type that is okay with C's and D's, my parents won't go insane on me as long as I try. However I still don't want to be a let down, I don't want them to be ashamed of me. Whenever I don't do as well as I hope I would I immediately think 'Mom is going to be so upset' or 'Mom will be so mad' when my mom won't yell at me for grades but instead I get a little sigh, that kills me. This idea of thinking makes me want to achieve everything and if I don't sometimes I feel like it is the end of the world. This could explain why my teachers accuse me of being a perfectionist all the time. I got the nickname 'worry wart Sarah' in chem a couple days ago (but it hasn't come up again so it is probably a one time thing). Sometimes I get called a nervous Nelly too.

Ever Wonder What Vegetables Think About?

Title is a quote by Seance from The Umbrella Academy (one of my influences)
I drew The Seance and The Rumor from The Umbrella Academy today.

Both Seance and the Rumor are my favorite characters from TUA.

Another artist I am influenced is Emily Hu. I really love her style, she is so good! She blogs her artwork, I have talked to her on a few occasions (once in person, a couple other times over the internet). Here is some of her artwork that I love:

As far as issues go I do a lot of things related to death and supernatural beings. I also draw eyes a lot. I find serial killers very interesting and I also get interested in mental disorders. That might explain why I am reading The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at the moment.

Oh! If any of you were confused why I was putting pictures of Shia LeBeouf everywhere today, it is because this wonderful song about Shia LeBeouf being a cannibal. http://soundcloud.com/rob-cantor/shia-labeouf one of those things I wish I came up with.

Loved.

I am writing this because I am having an anxiety attack over nonsense. I understand the stupidity of this, my body does not and it is causing me to have breathing trouble and getting me all shaky (because of my anxiety disorder I have tendencies to get overly anxious over small things). THIS IS AFFECTING MY HEALTH. I think this whole meme bullshit has stopped being funny and now it is annoying and making US look immature. They look like monsters too but we are becoming as bad. Can we be the bigger person and leave them alone? I understand why you would want to fight back, trust me I get it. The feeling of over a 100 people (over 100 people liked those photos by the way) not liking you because you are in a class you love is a pretty crumby feeling. People I have never met in my entire life!
I know they were not directing it at any students but that's how it read to me. Probably inaccurate to a degree but the thought is still there. All those memes were kind of those jokes were we can all laugh together, but these were targeting a class. Now that people are getting into trouble for the memes it is causing even more anger towards STAC so this meme is a little messy, and I think it might be better to avoid it. That is just my opinion. I don't hate anybody for standing up for us at all. I just think we need to stray away from it now.